美鄉村歌手3歲兒自家泳池溺斃　妻自責半年後發文：上帝給了我力量

40歲美國鄉村創作歌手格蘭傑史密斯（Granger Smith）與愛妻安柏（Amber Emily Smith）共育有二子一女，夫妻倆經常在社群網站上曬出全家福照片。不過去年6月，他們3歲么兒瑞凡（River）在家中後院的游泳池溺斃，夫妻兩人最後決定將兒子的器官捐出，拯救更多不幸的孩子。在新年一開始，安柏於IG發文，表示在兒子死後，是上帝的愛拯救了她，也讓她與上帝更親近，因此她希望能帶領更多人領略上帝的愛。

格蘭傑史密斯的小的兒子瑞凡（River Kelly Smith）在去年6月於自家後院游泳池溺斃。格蘭傑史密斯與妻子安柏事後捐出瑞凡的器官，讓其他孩子得到重生的機會。

在新年一開始，安柏於IG發文，表達失去孩子後的心路歷程。安柏表示，2019對她來說，是很艱辛的一年，這一年她失去了心愛的3歲兒瑞凡，但他也同時拯救了另外兩條生命，「這是讓人心碎的一年，但也更磨礪我的精神」。

安柏提到，去失去兒子後，她每天以淚洗臉，整整持續了半年，但也從中體會到生命中重要的事。這一年，她幫助其他陷入悲傷的父母，她發現，悲傷與快樂是可以共存的。而這一年讓她更貼近上帝，也知道自己的生活再也離不開上帝了。

 

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I’ve always known I wanted to be a donor if anything were to ever happen to me. I just felt that if I had viable organs, why would I go into the ground with them? My spirit would be in Heaven, so why not save a life if I could? Never in a million years did I think I would be making that decision for my baby. When 3 different neuro specialists told us that River had 0% chance of brain recovery (yes 0, not 10 or 1%, 0) after shock and reality set in, I thought, how can we bury our sweet baby and not try to help others? His body is perfect, his organs are perfect, we had to do something. There are so many people waiting for an organ to save their lives. The doctors said donation was quite a process. We would have to search for viable recipients and it could take days. We knew River’s spirit was in Heaven, but we couldn’t bear to watch his tiny, earthly body be pumped full of all the medicines for 3 or more more days while they searched. They tried to expedite the process so our family could be in peace, told us they would take him back to operate the next morning, but we wouldn’t know what organs could be used until after. With such a small body, organs had to be measured physically, not just by X-ray. I spent the night laying in bed with him, crying and talking to him while they kept running tests and taking blood. The next morning family and staff lined the hall for the “walk of honor”. We told them River liked to go fast, so to honor him, they pushed him down that hall faster than they had ever pushed anyone. Granger and I held each other and cried. We got the letter that our tiny, red-headed hero gave life to 2 adults. A 49 year old woman and a 53 year old man. I cried when we opened it. Cried out of sadness & cried out of love. I’m so proud to be River’s mama and I’m so grateful to God that he gave him to us for those incredible 3 years. I pray these 2 recipients live healthy, joy filled, full throttle lives just like Riv. It was one of the hardest, yet easiest, decisions we’ve ever made. There are over 113,000 people waiting for transplants & 20 people die each day waiting. Go to OrganDonor.gov to see how you can help give life as well. ❤️

A post shared by Amber Smith (@amberemilysmith) on Jul 13, 2019 at 11:25am PDT

安柏表示。無論好壞，生活中的每一天，都是上帝給的另一份禮物。「對於他人，我總是充滿著感激之意，上帝給了軟弱的我力量，讓我能從自責中慢慢的原諒自己」。最後她寫道：「我希望繼續把人們帶到上帝的國度，分享我感受到的上帝之愛」。（吳雯淇/綜合外電報導）

 

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2019 – The year that brought me to my knees. The year our beautiful red-headed boy turned 3 & went Home. The year that same sweet boy saved 2 other lives. The year that broke my heart into pieces but also tempered my spirit. The year we started The Smiths. The year we moved from our home and all the memories we made there. The year Linc turned 5 and started kinder and London started 2nd grade. The year that I became the closest to God I’ve ever been. The year I cried every day for 6 months straight. The year London lost 3 teeth and turned 8. The year we ministered to hundreds about grief and hope. The year we vowed to not let anything tear our family apart. The year we promised to find meaning and not reasons. The year Granger and I became closer than ever before. The year my eyes were truly opened to what is important. The year we’ve never felt more love from our community. The year I found out that joy and grief can coexist. The year we dove back into the fire to help other grieving parents. The year that changed me. The year of the blue butterfly. The year I learned that I am not in control. The year that solidified that I can’t live this life without God. I can’t believe it’s been almost 7 months since we held our sweet Riv and that we will be starting a new year without him physically with us. Through this sadness, I’m hopeful for all that is to come. My goals for the coming year are to grow the @theriverkellyfund and help as many people as we can, keep London and Lincoln thriving despite the heartache of the past year, grow in grace and faith with my Maker, share our story in the hopes of helping others, and be in the present moment, because as much as we want to plan and dream, today is all we have. This moment. Each day, whether good or bad, is another gift from God. I hope to live it with gratitude and compassion for others. I hope to continue to surrender my battles, because in my weakness He is my strength. I hope to forgive myself little by little. I hope to keep bringing people to the Kingdom and sharing the love of God that I have felt so strongly. (Continued in comments)

A post shared by Amber Smith (@amberemilysmith) on Dec 31, 2019 at 7:28am PST